September: a review.

Seriously, how is today the last day of September???

Here's what I've been up to this month:

Schooling... Grade 1 for Ellie. And that's it. No other kids in school. (Well, besides the one in uni, for whom I'm no longer responsible. And that's another weirdness in my life.) I've got a school-post in the works if anyone cares exactly what we're doing.

Pottery... I didn't know it was possible to enjoy an activity so much, whilst simultaneously being frustrated to heck-and-back. I LOVE throwing clay on a wheel. I just can't do it very well. But I LOVE it! (Clarification: I'm really good at shaping things... I just find it hard to get the clay ball exactly centred on the wheel. And that, my friends, is a very very crucial step.)

Church... in hopes of being able to make a difference, I agreed to sit on the board this year. Now my eyes are being opened to how things work, and exactly why some frustrating situations are allowed to go on. Oy!! It's going to be an interesting year.

Acting... Peter Pan rehearsals started up in earnest this month. I'm playing Mrs. Darling, and having so much fun!

Crocheting... I learned to crochet from a kit that I got when I was 6 years old, and made many wonky things all through my growing-up years. I learned to knit after I got married, and never picked up a hook again. Until this month. So far, I've made 3 things, and I'm working on a fourth, and already have the fifth project planned. I'd forgotten how relaxing it is.

Watching... Downton Abbey (season 2 just started up. Yay!!). Castle (I have a huge crush on Nathan Fillion). NCIS (what's with Tony acting like a grown-up??).

Cooking... Fall food!! I'm all about the comfort food. Today I made a big huge pot of Borscht. Mmmmmm.

Singing... in our church choir (if you knew our church, you'd know why I laugh out loud every time I say that).

Pinterest... still addicted. I think that's all I'll say about that.

Next month, I'm looking forward to:

• Thanksgiving
• my birthday
• more of the same things from this month :)

linking up with Megan @ SortaCrunchy

daybook

TODAY

Outside my window...  the wind has blown itself out, and the rain has stopped. Trees are down, and branches litter the streets. The clouds have partly blown away, and bits of sky are showing through the ragged holes.

I am thinking...  that there's too much sorrow in the world.

I am thankful...  for tea. friends. cozy sweaters. mugs that I can cradle between my palms.

From the learning rooms...  getting ready for week three of grade 1. I'm following the Charlotte Mason plan at Ambleside Online. It's going reasonably well so far... we're both enjoying it.

In the kitchen...  lentil barley soup. heavily gingered chicken stir-fry. large bowls of oatmeal in the morning. autumn food.

I am wearing...  jeans. fleece pull-over. bare feet.

I am creating... with clay - bowls, pie plates, mugs.

I am going...  fast. reluctantly. time seems to go by so quickly these days.

I am wondering...  how it's already the end of september. (see previous line)

I am reading...  knitting books. pottery how-tos. The Glass Castle.

I am hoping...  (quite hopelessly, according to the weather forecast) that the sun will shine tomorrow.

I am hearing...  a bit of whining from a girl who doesn't want to go to bed yet.

Around the house...  messes. piles of stuff that need to be sorted and/or disposed of. I'm a terrible house-keeper these days.

I am pondering...  my own reluctance to step out of my comfort zone. wondering how I can change that.

One of my favorite things...  the Lisa Leonard necklace that I wear nearly every day. It says 'loved'. I am.

A few plans for the rest of the week...  choir practice. Peter Pan rehearsal. pottery class. apple picking. applesauce making. corset sewing.

Here is picture that I am sharing...

a spiderweb-festooned bridge on a foggy morning.

linking up here.

five minutes: growing

Growing.

It's never easy. Is it meant to be? I wish it were.

Stretching, filling uncomfortable unknown spaces. Reaching outward, away from the familiar. 

Becoming.

Bearing.

Birthing.

That's the point of it: to reproduce. To give life. It's never static, ever changing; this cycle of growth: birth, life, death. I carry in the marrow of my bones the weight of countless generations gone before, carry the possibility of those yet to come.

Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies, it can not grow.

This fragile state, this life, this gift.

the last day of summer.

The rain today is making me feel melancholy. I want to write a poem... images flit through my head, but the words won't come. I am mute, filled with vague longing.

sun.

Today I'm being deliberate... intentional... about enjoying this sky. I must not take for granted what I will rarely see in the next few months.
Soon autumn will be here, and with it comes months of greyness and rain. It's hard to believe, on those days, that the sky is blue and the sun is shining.
So today, I revel in this blue. This warmth.

beauty on this day.

sunshine. shadows.

pottery

Yesterday I brought home all of the pottery that I made in my first 6-week class session... a bowl that collapsed, three wonky mugs, a wee handle-less pitcher, an ugly pot, and a flat shallow bowl that looks like it has a nipple in the middle of it... I had so much fun making them all!! And every five minutes or so, I'm compelled to point out to anyone in the immediate vicinity that "I made pottery!"

five minutes: rest

Sometimes it sneaks up on me, this need, this compulsion, and my eyes close in spite of myself and I rest. I rest, and everything fades, and there is just me, cradled, comforted, healed.

Sometimes I plan ahead, and there is a nest, and I cocoon myself, shut the world out. I make space, and I rest.

More often than not, though, the voices persist. Conversations with myself. Plans. Needs. But how about...? And then...? Or what if...?

I have, at times, envied the monastics. It seems that it would be easier to be still and just focus on God, when you are living a life that is set apart.

I have, however, chosen a different life. A life that includes a husband. Kids. Homeschooling. Cooking. Cleaning. Interminable laundry.

I need to learn how to stop the cacophony that exists in my head. Learn to be still. To wait. To listen. Learn to really rest in the midst of all that needs to be done.

picture this

 Beauty.
This morning.