Sometimes it sneaks up on me, this need, this compulsion, and my eyes close in spite of myself and I rest. I rest, and everything fades, and there is just me, cradled, comforted, healed.
Sometimes I plan ahead, and there is a nest, and I cocoon myself, shut the world out. I make space, and I rest.
More often than not, though, the voices persist. Conversations with myself. Plans. Needs. But how about...? And then...? Or what if...?
I have, at times, envied the monastics. It seems that it would be easier to be still and just focus on God, when you are living a life that is set apart.
I have, however, chosen a different life. A life that includes a husband. Kids. Homeschooling. Cooking. Cleaning. Interminable laundry.
I need to learn how to stop the cacophony that exists in my head. Learn to be still. To wait. To listen. Learn to really rest in the midst of all that needs to be done.