Tuesday, October 4, 2011


I've been musing almost non-stop the past couple of days... about obligation.

Without going into huge amounts of detail, here's the story.

I'm part of a group that meets regularly; I've been part of it since its inception, several years back. It's purpose is not super practical, but it has always been fun to be part of. And we're all friends.

However I'm no longer having fun. Several factors associated with being part of this group are currently creating stress in my life, and I've become rather cranky. Not pleasant for me, and no fun for the people I'm with.

The big problem for me?? Due to my unique-to-the-group skill set, the group does not function at all well without me.

Hence my conundrum.

On the one hand, why should I spend time and effort doing something that's causing me stress?

On the other hand, am I justified in causing others to be unable to do something that they love?

Where do you draw the line between looking after yourself, and serving others?


  1. I was a part of a weekly craft group that I ended up being the "in charge" person...responsible for the weekly reminder...etc.  Due to the vast differences in people there was often conflict over politics and religion.  My last straw was a heated debate about vaccinations.  This is a craft group...peace harmony love and kittens right?  So I excused myself for a few months told them I had other obligations that had come up.  Amazing.  after I quit being group leader they quit getting together.   A year later we finally started up again but there is only two of us who come regularly again and it is much more peaceful.  Plus with it being two instead of 10 we can say hey I don't feel well lets just call it a day and not meet.
    Take a break and relax...let someone else be in charge for a while.   It may recharge you or you may just decide it is not worth your time.

  2. I think that sometimes you serve and it gives you life and sometimes you serve and it drains your life, so you need to decide if it is giving you life or not and you do not need to be doing something that is just draining your life away.  Just my humble opinion.

  3. Take a "break" from your obligations.  It might let others step up and learn to function without you.  It might also give you the break you need and you might get excited about it again.  Or you might decide just to let it go.  But at least you are not making a snap decision that you might later regret.


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